There are many authors who have had an exponential effect on my conditioned beliefs, which empowered me to create meaningful shifts in the trajectory of my life. Here are a few of my favorites...
Eva Ambika Livingston
Creativity Reborn - Intelligence Having Fun: Seeing Everything Through the Lens of Birth
Introduction
I came into adulthood with a story. My story was that I didn't have a creative bone in my body. I told that story to everybody. Any time anyone would ask me to do anything creative, I would scoff at the very idea. I'd say, "I don't have a creative bone in my body so I can't help you with that project." That project might have been simply helping to decorate for a party.
This trickled over into not attempting to play any instruments - even though I love music. Any project whatsoever, including art and dance. Before I'd even give it half a chance, I would say “I don't have a creative bone in my body" and shut it down.
I really honestly thought that was true about me. Anytime I would look for evidence, it was easy to find evidence to prove it so it must be true. I held tightly to that story and anytime I did attempt to step out of that story with a feeble attempt at creativity, I would prove yet again, without a shadow of a doubt that I didn't have a creative bone in my body.
In art class I would start to draw something, and I would see nothing but ugliness. I was judging my own creativity to be no creativity. I would make music and it would all be in my head. I couldn't locate that sense of diving into the abyss where creativity exists. It was like I was trying to make it happen - and that's not where creativity comes from. Just like you don't think a baby into existence. I'm a labor and delivery nurse, you don't need to be a nurse to know that one. Writing this introduction to my book is bringing up a lot of emotions.
When I would attempt to play music, it would sound awful to me. Like I was off key or out of tune. Almost as if I were trying to force something. Like trying to force something into being, that just wasn't there. That's because it was all coming from beneath ego. All of my stories about this were subconscious. I really never got a project out in the world to be judged by the world. Eva was busy judging Eva.
Even in adulthood I was judging me.
Carolyn Elliot
Existential Kink
This is one of the most mind fucking books on the planet, so I am listing it first. The main point of the book boils down to: “If you have it you want it.” This can be on the conscious or subconscious level. If there is lack in my life, I want to have lack.
People can be oppressed, people can be victimized, and still see abundance in their life. Transformation from what you don’t have to what you truly desire, comes through the celebration of what you find shameful.
Therein lies the Kink.
Our mind knows better and yet we do it anyway; then we shame ourselves for doing so.
“Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” ~ Rumi
“What you seek is seeking you.” ~ Rumi
Charles Eisenstein
Sacred Economics: Money, Gift and Society in the Age of Transition and The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know is Possible
Charles Eisensteins's book, Sacred Economics considers the history of money from ancient gift economies to modern capitalism. Charles shows us how our money system has contributed to separation, competition, and scarcity... how it has destroyed community and has necessitated endless growth. I believe these are the things that keep us feeling enslaved. It really got me thinking about what else might be possible. His other book, The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know is Possible reminded me that we are all connected and our small, personal choices bear unsuspected transformational power. This particular book has helped me to remember that my voice matters.
Brené Brown
Braving the Wilderness
Gaining freedom from external validation...
I had an existential question related to external validation. When I was in "doing" mode, I had this attitude that others must agree with me for my very existence to be valid. I would argue my point until I was blue in the face... in a futile attempt to prove who was right and who was wrong. Hence I lived in the reality of duality. As I considered the main message I took from Brené Brown’s book, Braving The Wilderness, that it is okay to be the odd man out - the one in the group who not only thinks differently, but is willing to voice their disagreement I started to recognize that I didn’t need external validation in order to feel okay. I could feel okay with my own validation. That also meant that it was okay for others to hold their own perspective and that their existence is also valid. I realized that it is okay for each of us to see life through the lens of our own experiences and for our truths to differ. What does that say about the nature of ultimate truth or the duality of right and wrong?
Michael Singer
The Untethered Soul
In my search for meaning Michael Singer, author of The Untethered Soul, taught me that avoiding triggers only creates more pain and separation. He used the analogy of a burr under the skin. You can build a bubble over the burr, however if you isolate yourself from one trigger you end up isolating yourself from more and more. If you never learn to take a needle and insert it into your flesh to dig at the burr and get it out... then you are going to end up sad and alone. Acknowledging a pain in the moment keeps you from triggering later. Triggers are messengers and something to get curious about. People usually think that the word trigger means something negative. It can be used positively as well, for example “My baby was born and this experience triggered joy in me.” or “Bliss was triggered in me as I witnessed her birth.”
Triggers Redefined What are triggers? Anything that points me back towards my innate worthiness of existence of love, and radical forgiveness. Triggers are something to lean into, something to get curious about. Leaning away from my triggers only serves to create more separation and leaning into my triggers creates more oneness. This is how to move through ego transcendence, by recognizing your triggers, taking radical ownership for them.
Ego: “This person made me angry.”
Higher Self: “This person did something and anger arose in me - OR - This experience triggered anger in me.”
Leaning into a trigger is about getting curious and asking questions: “What was it about this experience that triggered joy in me? (Insert any emotion). What was it about this that triggered anger? Where did that come from?
A trigger is like an iceberg. There's an event, which is the tip of the iceberg. This event brings us back to a memory, hidden in our subconscious. The memory represents the mass of the iceberg beneath the surface.
Adyashanti
The Way of Liberation: A Practical Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
Adyashanti's book, The Way of Liberation is written in a way that directly challenged my assumptions and beliefs, and asked me to look deeply into the way my mind actually works. It is a very condensed version of Adyashanti’s core teachings on waking up to the truth of who we really are. After reading this book, I came away realizing that collective conditioning and the values and beliefs that arise from it can be some of the most dangerous and difficult to shift. How did we come to believe what we did? I started to think about how we once believed that the earth was flat - How did we come to believe that? How did we (collectively) change that belief? It also wasn't until the 1960's that cigarettes were officially deemed harmful to ones health. Pretty much everyone I knew smoked when I was growing up.
Richard Miller
Yoga Nidra: A Meditative Practice for Deep Relaxation and Healing
Yoga Nidra is an ancient tantric yoga path that leads to inner freedom. In Sanskrit Nidra means to sleep. iRest Yoga Nidra is a specific method of yogic sleep that gives a spiritual aspirant (a person seeking awakening or enlightenment) the opportunity to go directly to the dimension of oneness.
In Richard Miller's book, Yoga Nidra: A Meditative Practice for Deep Relaxation and Healing... he shares a 10-step process. The reader gets a taste of oneness alongside an opportunity to walk through an embodiment of the Koshas.
The practices involve the following...
Annamaya Kosha (physical body) through bringing awareness and attention to individual body parts
Pranamaya Kosha (the breath/energy) through breath work
Manomaya Kosha (mind/emotions) through the experience of opposites of emotions
Vijnanamaya Kosha (intellect) through opposites of thoughts
Anandamaya Kosha (bliss) by recalling the sensation of the body at a particularly joyful time in life.
By having an embodied experience of each of these layers - combined with learning the capacity to witness myself objectively, I found myself dropping into a deeper relaxation than I had ever known. It was as though Richard had taken all I had learned in my yoga teacher training and packaged it neatly into an embodied experience for me, then tied the box up with a nice neat little bow. That is why I became a certified iRest Yoga Nidra facilitator. I now work with individuals as well as groups.
Dale Buegel
Practical Samāyā Tantra
I met author Dale Buegel while at the Sivananda Yoga Retreat on Paradise Island, Bahamas. As I practiced different breathwork techniques with him, I contemplated the awakening of Kundalini energy. Dale had said that "upon the first breath as a newborn, Kundalini goes to sleep." After much further contemplation - these are my thoughts about his theory...
When I am just BE-ing, I feel the Kundalini energy from my Root chakra spiral up my spine. Kundalini energy is part of the subtle body, which includes our chakras. It follows the central energy line of the body, spiraling upward towards the Crown chakra.
Kundalini energy is known as the energy which creates life and moves through us freely in the womb. This makes sense because in the womb, the baby is not breathing oxygen into the lungs. In my breathwork classes, I noticed that when I wasn’t breathing (suspension or retention of breath) was when my Kundalini energy was rising. I once heard that when a baby takes its first breath, the Kundalini energy spirals downward to the Root chakra, which is about safety and keeping us safe.
In our day-to-day existence, Kundalini energy flows directionally according to our emotions and our state of BE-ing. I have always been fascinated with breathwork techniques, specifically those that awaken Kundalini energy. When we connect all of our chakras with Kundalini energy, we experience a spiritual awakening, our second birth. This is the state of enlightenment.
The Advanced Pranayama Practice in his book, Practical Samāyā Tantra... is an excellent tool for increasing Prana (which decreases depression) and for balancing Prana (which decreases episodes of mania). This practice has been especially helpful for me since I have not taken any medications to suppress the experience of sadness/depression or anxiety/ungrounded creativity/mania since 2015.
Book Launch
I am so excited to announce the launch of my book on Wednesday, June 24th, 2020. If you would like to receive additional information about my special pricing, launch parties, book signings, and future updates... just scroll down to subscribe.
Comments