Conditioned beliefs are the thinking patterns we develop at a young age. They are generally firmly set into place by the time we start grade school. These patterns become the foundation for our future decision-making and problem-solving and are there to keep us feeling safe.
Unpacking and questioning such beliefs can be messy - imagine it like when you clean out your closet and have a mess all over the bed before everything gets neatly put away. Some might call this mess an existential crisis.
Considering My Conditioned Beliefs
As I considered the beliefs I was holding and realized that the suicidal ideations I had... were related to those beliefs and ideas. I started to wonder if they were still serving me. If not, I wondered what kept my grip so tight upon those beliefs? More existential questions began to flood my mind over a period of time.
Existential questioning and breaking up the concrete foundation of my conditioning...
Am I ready to take full and complete accountability for my entire life and all of the things I've ever experienced?
If a thought I am carrying about myself is causing pain for me is it serving me? If so, how is it serving me?
If this thought I am carrying about myself or my life is not serving my highest good - Is there a thought I could put in its place that would feel more comfortable?
Can I choose to hold a thought which is not validated by any others around me?
Can I learn to seek validation internally and lose my codependence with the notion that I must change the minds of others in order for my experience of the world to be valid?
How can I find comfort in being the odd man out?
Is Karma out of my control? Is my life within my control?
If I actually chose this yucky, painful experience for my life - Why? What sort of growth did my Higher Self have in mind?
What if the suicidal undercurrent felt by many is just a darkness that is encouraging more of an inward journey?
What if depression and even suicidal thoughts are actually calling for one to metaphorically (not physically) go back to the solace of the womb space?
Existential Myths
As I began to ask questions about what I believed and why, I became more clear about the myths that were making me miserable and keeping me enslaved.
Myth #1 - My ideas/beliefs are only valid if my friends and family agree with me.
Myth #2 - I have been victimized by the actions of others.
Myth #3 - There are things I "need/should/am obligated to do" in order to be "worthy" to BE.
Myth #4 - My conscious mind/ego/body is completely in control of my life.
Myth #5 - My thoughts have nothing to do with my health or with my reality.
Myth #6 - Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.
Myth #7 - Difficult emotions should not be experienced: sadness, anger, grief, frustration, etc. are to be avoided. If one feels depressed: one should numb that experience, pull up ones bootstraps, put on a happy face, and show the world just how "fine" they are.
Existential Questions in regards to Freedom and Remembering...
Are we awakening or are we remembering?
Does the nature of duality and judgment eliminate itself altogether?
Is there even such a thing as a woke person?
Does woke imply complete acceptance of what is?
What do people mean when they say unconditional love if love itself has no conditions?
Is there such a thing as radical forgiveness?
Being able to forgive somebody regardless of anything is called radical forgiveness. It also means forgiving the sex trafficker or perhaps the man who raped you. Also, it’s not just about being able to forgive them, it’s about being able to see yourself in them. That's the ticket and that's how we can forgive because the ego, our human part, needs that selfish flip. Everything we do is selfish. We can always ask the question, “What's the benefit?” because there's always a benefit for us.
When we remember, does duality go out the window? Does one experience the absoluteness of oneness? Does remembering build a bridge assisting us to step back and forth between the two dimensions of relative and ultimate reality?
Does woke recognize that these dimensions have been coexisting simultaneously or are they currently in the process of melding into one. Is our world becoming more expansive if the gap between dimensions is closing?
Is there a need for a woke person to continue to toggle back & forth between these dimensions? Or are they just dancing in the Rasa Lila?
How does a woke person manage relationships with those who still have a firm grip on a dualistic life of right-doing and wrong-doing?
Can we talk about universal reality without spiritually bypassing each other?
A friend of mine wrote this - and it resonated with many of the ideas I've shared in this article...
What if from the day you were born, you came into a culture and world that told you that you are your purpose. There is nothing that you have to seek or find, because you are already it. Instead, you get to allow it to be alive through you. What if you were told growing up that your role is to be the very best you that you can be? That the more you know and understand yourself, the more effortlessly your purpose can flow.
What if you were encouraged to find your truth, and informed that someone else's truth will be different than yours and that it's ok? What if you were raised in a culture where uniqueness of the human spirit was honored, celebrated and encouraged? Biodiversity makes for a thriving ecosystem. ~Cree Cox
Yoga Health Educator Assessments...
I am currently enrolled in the Sivananda Yoga Health Educator course for which I am required to do 100 assessments. If you would like to receive a Complimentary Yoga Health Assessment, reach out to me at: slomotionyoga@gmail.com
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